Communicating,  Faith,  Marriage Advice

INFIDELITY during marriage : Overcoming it


Nowadays, you cannot easily spot a husband or wife capable of infidelity. In some cases, say the couple may still love each other and not fall out of love, but sometimes they just tend to become displeased with their current set-up and situation. Upon settling down and starting having kids, the priority and focus are now centered on providing for the needs of the family and focusing on raising their children. They tend to agonize in silence, believing they can’t get what they want from their spouses. This situation will lead to a lack of open communication between the couple where romance is also starting to fade. In search of emotional connection, a third party commonly fill-in the attention, flattery, and romance that is not present in the relationship anymore. Infidelity is not all about sex, instead, it is about unmet needs and intimacy.

Infidelity can destroy even the toughest relationship, causing feelings of betrayal of trust, guilt, and rage. If you happen to know that your husband is cheating on you, it is extremely difficult to overcome the feeling of betrayal and anger. If your husband is not faithful, it’s not your fault, but the wife should also realize and reflect on her own about her shortcomings in their marriage. The “fault or shortcomings” could be a sign of the disconnection which has been ignored by the couple.

Here are some ways in recovering from Infidelity:

  1.  Be determined, and clarify your purpose. You must have a firm and clear purpose. When hurt, you may tend to think about the problem. Bringing up the past and continuously recycling about the problem can worsen the agony. Just keep your focus on the solution you are looking into and you will certainly get concrete answers. For all you know, a couple may find that they have grown closer.
  2.  Cultivate a more meaningful and special level of emotional intimacy. To get over or rebuild a relationship after infidelity, you must be more willing to be emotionally intimate with each other. This includes spending more quality time together, open communication in sharing your lives, being more passionate, and more giving.
  3.  Always be together in doing tasks. Couples that are spending time together, and sharing their mutual interest have a bigger chance of recovering from infidelity rapidly and successfully. Hobbies need not be very expensive, It could just be simple gardening or watching a romantic DVD at home.
  4.  Reminisce how your love started. It feels good for the couple to reminisce about their courtship days and how their love blossomed, how did they fall in love? What do you like about each other? Here, you will also realize everything that you’ve been through at the start of the relationship and how you surmount the challenges along the way. This will give the couple a chance to become closer to each other again.
  5.  Don’t bother asking for details about the thing you don’t need to know. Don’t ask your partner for further details of the sexual encounter nor compare yourself with the third party whom they had an affair with. CONCENTRATE ON THE RELATIONSHIP and MARRIAGE, not on the third party.
  6.  Compromise yourself to the relationship. Healing is not that easy. There needs to be an earnest desire in saving the marriage and commit yourself to your loyalty to your partner – with a promise that an affair shall never happen again.
  7.  Renew your Vows. Start anew, remember how it all began let go of the past and forgive. Pray together and let go of old thoughts, behaviors, and anything that brings back the thirst for infidelity. Replace them with the memories of the good times that you had as a couple.
  8. Seek out, new Couple Friends. Look for a role model, a new couple’s relationship would be nice, a couple who has been together for a long time and has passed all the temptation of infidelity with flying colors will help your relationship heal and move up to the next level.

These eight steps can help a couple recover from the clutches of infidelity but you must remember, for them to work you must make sure that both of you are on board and in agreement that you are willing to fix it and be together to work it out not just for the children but for the both of you and remember, just like any hurdles or bumps in life “This too shall Pass “.

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After many years of successful relationships in my own life, my mission is to pass on the blessings I’ve received to the many people seeking help in their own lives. I not only help to restore broken marriages, but also friendships, relationships, families etc. I am a faith-based marriage and relationship coach with a mission: To build stronger marriages through faith; to deepen the spirituality of the individual and the couple by accepting an open minded cornerstone of the marriage; to strengthen the communication, commitment, and respect within a marriage through a focus on gratitude, and love.